One Month In. What Starting Over Actually Looks Like.

I can hardly believe that a month has gone by since my last day.

For those of you who don't know, here's how it went down.

I was on a Zoom call whose agenda I thought I knew. Before we got to the expected work, the conversation shifted. Like completely.

All of a sudden, I was hearing kind words — genuinely kind — about my contributions, my years, what I'd built.

And that's when I started to drift.

It was as if I were watching the conversation unfold for someone else. Somewhere in the back of my mind, one thought was getting very loud: Wait, WHAT?— am I being let go?

And then I had my answer. My role was being eliminated.

I did NOT see it coming. Not in a million years.

For a few moments, I just sat there. Nodding. Going through the motions of a conversation. Feeling something that didn't have a name yet. Numbness?

It was surreal.

You know that gut-drop feeling? Now add six figures to it.

The Decision I'd Already Made

Here's the part that took me a while to sit with.

In the months before that call, I had already made a deliberate choice to scale back my coaching business.

Todd had just retired, and we'd been planning the Florida Loop for a while. When he asked me to pull back — to focus on my accounting role and actually be present for this season — I resisted.

I'm wired to work. But after a lot of reflection, I got there.

And honestly? I knew I'd have FOMO if he went snorkeling or out exploring while I was on the boat staring at a screen.

But here's what this first trip showed me: vacationing on a boat is not the same as living on one.

When you're on a schedule, you're weather-dependent, and you're on a timetable.

And, side note, lol, we don't have a yacht — we have a 34' Grady-White Express, which is an incredible boat.

I can work docked. I can work underway in calm water at a reasonable cruising speed. But not out in the ocean on a rough day. No Seakeeper is going to keep dual monitors steady in those conditions. #facts.

And then — before I'd even had time to fully settle into that new rhythm — the ground shifted anyway.

What I've had to make peace with is this: the life I was building toward and the role I was holding onto weren't going to coexist the way I'd imagined.

So while this plot twist came literally and figuratively out of the blue — I think I was already heading here.

What closing a chapter actually feels like.

I worked through the end of May.

I was told I didn't have to stay. That they hoped I would, but they'd understand if I didn't.

I stayed — and I showed up fully — because that's who I am.

There were people on my team whom I genuinely care about and who didn't create this situation. They deserved more than my disappearing overnight.

So I transferred what I could and left the way I've always tried to show up — with integrity. The person on the other end of all that knowledge transfer had her own full plate — her own responsibilities, her own life.

The least I could do was make it as manageable as possible.

The firm's software was wiped from my laptop only a few days ago, and now my access is completely gone.

Thirty years of professional identity can't be dissolved in thirty days.

But that chapter is officially closed.

What's open now is different.

I'm still working — just not the way I was.

I'm building my coaching business around my life this time. Not the other way around.

Around travel, around the water, around what actually matters at this stage.

Not 24/7. Not at someone else's pace.

But at MINE. 🫶🏻⚓

Next chapters don't always come announced.

Sometimes the next chapter starts in the middle of the mess.

Not when you're perfectly prepared. Not when the plan is airtight. Not when the timing feels right. And definitely not when the fear is gone.

It starts the moment things shift — whether you chose that moment or it chose you.

The question isn't whether you're ready.

It's what you're going to do when you're there.

If any of this sounds familiar, just know — the middle of the mess is exactly where most great next chapters begin.

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