Thoughts - Part 2
Part 2 - If you haven't read part 1 yet - click here!
Now for the rest of the story...
In Thoughts Part 1, I explained the difference between the facts and your thoughts about the facts, and in Part 2, we are going to discuss how those thoughts actually create your feelings.
Most people believe that their circumstances are the cause of their angst. But that isn't true. It is what you are thinking about those circumstances that creates drama in your life. Think about it.
Your husband comes home late from work. He didn't call. Dinner was at 5. He missed dinner.
Those are the facts.
If your thought is, what an ass, I can't believe he didn't even call. How do you think you will feel? Happy? Not a chance. More importantly, how do you think you will behave? Nice? Loving? Uhm hell to the NO. In fact, chances are when he walks in the door, you are going to rip into him with some choice words that you have stewed on while waiting for him to arrive and fuming. You're angry and he's gonna pay. Why? Because you think he was inconsiderate and that made you feel irrelevant to him and so now you are ruminating over all the other times he's been late and all the times he forgot your birthday and every single thing he has ever done wrong... just wait when he opens that door, oh he will regret not having the courtesy of calling you to give you a heads up... You feel justified. You feel right. HE IS WRONG and YOU ARE RIGHT. Can't, you see it play out?
Ya feel me?
However, if your thought was, he must be slammed at work, I bet he is exhausted and hungry. How do you think you will feel? Still not happy, but maybe compassionate, concerned, or loving. And if you are feeling one of those feelings, how do you think your interaction with him might go? I imagine you would be a LOT kinder to him when he walked in the door as opposed to the scenario I just played out. Am I right? How would the rest of the evening go? Which scenario would you prefer? The outcome depends totally on your thinking.
You see that right?
The same set of facts, just a different thought generating a very predictable feeling.
Makes sense doesn't it?
Now let me ask you this if you knew your thoughts were choices, and you developed this awareness in your life, can you see how choosing a thought that generated love and compassion, can affect not only your relationships but your results in all areas of your life?
Yes, to your life.
Your thoughts are that powerful.
They generate your feelings and those feelings drive your actions, always and forever.
Those actions create very specific results in your life.
Like without a shadow of a doubt.
Think of any situation, any circumstance, separate the fact from the story and see what your thoughts are. You will clearly be able to see how the thoughts you are thinking are creating your feelings and not the situation itself. A question I always like to ask myself or my clients when they have a hard time separating fact from story, is would everyone think and feel the same thing in this situation? Is it possible to have a different thought in the same exact scenario. 9 times out of 10, my take on things are all story, and so are yours, and that's good news.
Because if your thoughts create your feelings, and thoughts are choices, YOU get to choose what to think! How awesome is that?
And if you get to choose, why not pick a better feeling thought? Why not consider a thought that creates the kind of feeling that feels good? Like a thought that creates love, compassion, or understanding?
Just a thought! :-)
Please remember, to Love, Laugh and most of all Learn to Live Boldly